A Promise of Passion Read online

  So here I was, partnered with the guy I had been fantasizing about for nearly a year. It felt like a bizarre twist of fate—my least favorite subject and the boy of my dreams. I may have been extremely nervous about working with him, but I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

  2

  I had been checking Katie out for almost a year before we were actually put in a class together. Every chance I’d get, I’d watch her. She always wore dresses, and it never seemed like she spent a lot of time trying to look pretty, like most girls did. She didn’t need to; she was beautiful. She had long, blond hair, with a few small curls framing her face. I’d heard somebody call them tendrils one time, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what they were really called. All I knew is that I wanted to push them away from her face and kiss her like I’ve never kissed any other girl in my whole life. When my buddies would check out other girls, all I could do was compare them to her.

  I had girls fawning over me all of the time—because I was good at squash, I guess. I actually found it annoying, because none of these girls knew anything about me. They thought dating a varsity athlete would make them popular. It was so shallow. It didn’t matter what kind of person I was. They just wanted to be with a cute, popular guy—even if I was the biggest asshole in our school. That never made sense to me. I wanted to meet a girl I felt attracted to and see if we had anything in common. I wanted to find a girl who didn’t care about my trophies, and who wanted to know more about me. I didn’t really know if Katie would be that girl, but I was so drawn to her that I had to try and find out.

  Now I had the chance. When I walked into physics and saw her sitting at our table, chewing on the end of her pencil and looking at the textbook, all I could imagine was that she was nibbling at my lips as I held her tight. I must have looked like an idiot, because when I saw her, I just stopped moving. The kid behind me bumped into my back and made some kind of rude comment that I totally ignored; I just stood there staring at her. I couldn’t help it.

  She must have sensed that I was watching her, because she looked up at me. This was the closest I had ever gotten to her. I had always wondered what color her eyes were, and now I could tell. Even from across the room, I could see that they were the deepest brown I had ever seen. They looked almost black, beautiful in contrast to her light hair. As our eyes met, her face turned beet red. I couldn’t breathe. What did that mean? Was she as flustered about seeing me as I was seeing her? I didn’t have a clue, and I didn’t care. It was time for me to grow a pair of balls and finally approach her.

  3

  I looked up and saw Bryce staring at me, and I froze. I know my face must have turned a million shades of red, but there was nothing I could do about it. It was totally out of my control. He had the weirdest look on his face. I didn’t have any idea what it meant. All I knew was that I was freaking out on the inside and paralyzed on the outside. He just kept staring at me, and I just kept blushing. I wouldn’t have been able to speak at that point if my life depended on it.

  He finally started to walk my way, and I felt like I was frozen to my seat. He bumped into something and lost his balance, but he looked so sexy as he recovered and kept coming toward me. There were a lot of empty seats in the classroom, but he walked over to me and said, “Would it be OK if I sat here?” Holy crap, I thought, he wants to sit next to me! I croaked out the weirdest version of “sure” you’ve ever heard and watched him take a seat.

  I couldn’t tell you one thing the teacher said during that class. I swear I could feel the heat radiating off Bryce. My mind was racing a mile a minute: he’d asked to sit next to me! What did it mean? Could it be remotely possible that he liked me? But how could he like me if he’d never spoken one word to me in his entire life? I wondered if I was having a nervous breakdown, because it sure felt like I was.

  4

  I tried to saunter over to Katie’s table in the most nonchalant and debonair manner I could, but of course I tripped on someone’s book bag and stumbled into one of the other tables. So much for looking confident. Just dig a hole and bury me in it, I thought. I felt like the biggest dork alive.

  It was weird—she blushed like crazy when I asked to sit next to her. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what she might have been thinking. She said sure, but whether or not she actually wanted me to was another question. I wanted to engage her in some kind of conversation, but that was impossible since the teacher wouldn’t shut up. She just went on and on about her passion for physics and the excitement that physics has brought to our lives. Blah, blah, blah. It was, by far, the longest forty minutes of my life. The only thing I really registered was that we were required to attend a physics lab twice a week. Normally the idea of two lab classes on top of class every day made me want to cringe. This time, it gave me an idea.

  5

  About a week later, I found out that Bryce and I would be partners in the lab classes. Mrs. Cotler had stopped me after class one day and asked me if I was interested in partnering with Bryce. As nonchalantly as possible, I told, “Sure. I’d like to work with him.” I never thought she would really pair us, though. When I saw our names next to each other on the bulletin board in the science room, I thought I was going to faint. It was the strangest sensation seeing our names written next to each other on the same line. What a crazy twist of fate!

  I could hardly sleep the night before our first lab together. I worried about what I would wear. I thought about different scenarios in my head about how to greet him and how to initiate conversation. Talking to him made me really nervous. My brain was in overdrive. I don’t think I had been this anxious since I was the lead in Cinderella in Middle School. I put a bottle of deodorant in my book bag before I went to bed, because I was worried about sweating too much. There was no way I was going to be all sweaty sitting next to him.

  I got to school early the next day, hoping the day would fly by. It did the total opposite. Every class seemed unusually long and drawn out. Finally, it was time. Walking in to the science room was the most nerve-wracking moment of my life. I had no clue how I was supposed to concentrate when Bryce and I had to work together. I could barely sit next to the guy, for cripes sake. Heck, during that first class, my palms were so sweaty I could barely hold my pencil. This was going to be a disaster.

  What made it even more horrendous was that I didn’t know much about physics. Chemistry had been a nightmare, and I wasn’t thrilled about moving on to the next level. Although I eventually pulled out a decent grade in chemistry, I’d had tutoring and had met with the teacher countless times. I had to stay on the high honor roll in order to get into Yale. Getting less than an A wasn’t an option. I wasn’t letting a stupid science class hold me back. I wasn’t sure what the physics labs were even going to be about, or what we were supposed to do in them. I gave myself a pep talk. I was determined to act as cool as possible so Bryce wouldn’t notice how freaked out I was. I wanted him to be in awe of me, not see me as a clueless, scientifically challenged imbecile.

  He entered the classroom with his usual swagger. I tried to act nonchalant, but the butterflies in my stomach were doing the most obnoxious break dance. He walked over to the counter I was standing at and said, “So, are you Katharine? We were never properly introduced the other day in class.” Oh my God, the way he said my name made me want to faint! And what did I say? “Oh…uh…yeah…uh…my name is Katie. I mean, yeah, it’s Katharine, but most people call me Katie. Unless you want to call me Katharine. I like Katharine, too. But I usually go by Katie. But whatever you want to call me is fine.”

  Oh perfect, now I was babbling like a complete idiot. I had prepared in the mirror over and over: this was not how I was going to present myself to him. I had totally blown it. Katie…Katharine…who cares? The way he said my name screamed of sensuality. I should have kept my big trap shut.

  And what did he do? He just chuckled and said, “I like the name Katie. I think I’ll just call you that.” He was so incredibly cool and composed, an
d I was such a mess. Oh Lord, please let the earth just swallow me up!

  “And you’re Bryce, right?” I asked. OK, that was a little better. I sounded semi-coherent.

  “Yeah, that’s right. Nice to finally meet you,” he said. Wait a second. What was that supposed to mean? Did “finally” mean he had wanted to meet me prior to this? My head was spinning.

  As we read the directions for the lab exercise we’d be doing, the outsides of our hands brushed together. I thought I was going to faint once again. In fact, I think he heard me gasp. That small connection actually made me stop breathing for a split second. It was a defining moment; one I thought I’d take with me to my grave. I couldn’t believe that I had nearly held hands with Bryce Collins. OK, so maybe we didn’t actually hold hands, but it was just as life changing. Touching his skin was the most incredible sensation I had ever felt in my life. As our skin touched, I swear I felt an electric current flowing between us. I actually had to close my eyes, because I thought I was going to swoon. Even though I had never fainted in my life, I felt a dizzy sensation in my head. For a split second, I visualized the kind of reaction women have in movies before they pass out and feared that was going to happen to me. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve Bryce as my partner, but I was definitely going to church on Sunday to thank God for the opportunity to be that close to him.

  As we got more involved in our assignment, I almost forget that I was sitting next to him. I actually got lost in the work and thought I acted fairly normal. If I wanted to ace this class, I needed to concentrate on the material. I couldn’t let this dreamy boy distract me. I took notes and asked him questions. I challenged his theories. He actually understood physics pretty well, so he was able to help me understand it better. I couldn’t believe that I could act like a normal human being in front of this amazing god, who was mountains above us mortals. If I didn’t think too hard about who I was working with, I was able to act like myself. This was a good sign.

  Still, it was hard. At one point, I looked into his eyes, and I think I stopped breathing. My adoration for him was getting a little out of control. His blue eyes reminded me of the ocean—I wanted to swim in them. His eyelashes were long and dark. It almost looked like he had mascara on. I always knew he had beautiful blue eyes, but they were even more intoxicating up close. Whenever I would say something, he would look straight into my eyes, like what I said matter. It felt different than the way I talked to other guys. He looked at me like he cared. There were so many thoughts churning around in my head, I could barely stand it. Even more peculiar were all the new feelings stirring throughout my body. I could feel the strangest sensations between my legs, and my panties were starting to get wet. What the hell was happening to me?

  That’s how our fairy tale began. Every lab class made me a little more comfortable around him. After a few sessions, I developed the courage to challenge his ideas with even more confidence. As our familiarity grew, I discovered how easy it was to tease him. He assumed I was quiet and shy when we first met. Once we got to know each other better, he realized how opinionated and outgoing I really was. He smiled a lot at me. He had such a beautiful smile. Every time we were together, I got the feeling he was starting to like me as much as I liked him. Being paired up with him was turning out to be a really good thing. I spent more time studying at night so I’d understand physics better, and it was working. After a few weeks, I felt pretty confident that I was going to ace this class.

  I couldn’t explain the multitude of feelings I was having, but I was enjoying everything about having a crush on him. I would count the minutes until class, so I could be with him. I had to force myself to concentrate on my other classes and get my work done on time. Otherwise, I would daydream about him constantly. There were so many things about him that fascinated me. As the weeks passed, we got to know each other better. The more I got to know about him, the more I liked him.

  I didn’t know it was possible to feel connected to someone just by looking at him, but I was beginning to believe it was possible. When he looked into my eyes, his gaze mesmerized me. I couldn’t explain it, and I didn’t want to. I just wanted to savor the moments we were together. Being enamored of someone takes a lot of energy. Sometimes, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and die from an overload of emotion. My infatuation with Bryce was intense. Heck, I didn’t feel the need to work out to get my cardio exercise—my heart was racing more often than not. Bryce treated me like I was the most important person in the classroom. He looked into my eyes when we spoke. He never interrupted me. He listened to everything I had to contribute. It was the scariest and most perfect situation I could ever have imagined.

  6

  I was so psyched when I got partnered with Katie. There was something about her that intrigued me from the first time I saw her. She had to be the cutest girl in all of our high school, and I’d heard she was fun and super sweet. My friend Scott worked with her on the yearbook, and he told me how awesome she was. He actually asked her out one time, but she turned him down. I remember asking him if she was dating someone else, and he said he didn’t know. I secretly prayed she wasn’t seeing anybody. I was determined to ask her out one day.

  No one had ever mentioned how smart or compassionate she was. She was passionate about a variety of humanitarian causes, which I found so endearing. One of the things they made her crazy was the thought that people were hungry and didn’t have enough food to eat. Although there weren’t many homeless people in our area of Connecticut, she said she hated seeing all of the homeless people in New York City. Once a month, she’d go with her mom to a shelter and help feed the people. It was located in a part of the city that I don’t think I had ever been to. It bothered her that more students didn’t give up one day a month to help other’s in need. She told me that spending a day feeding hungry people wasn’t a sacrifice; it was an honor. At first I couldn’t imagine this beautiful, young girl working at a shelter. Once I saw how much it meant to her, I could totally picture it. One day, she asked me if I wanted to go with her sometime. I told her I would love to.

  She had an opinion about almost everything, which made her so interesting to talk to. It didn’t surprise me that she wanted to be a lawyer. She loved to argue, and she always seemed to have some kind of random facts to support her arguments. It didn’t take long for me to realize she would be a really good attorney. I heard she belonged to the debate club and even won some kind of competition at the end of our junior year. I wish I would have know about it earlier, because I would have loved to see her in action. It may have been a chance to meet her. I had wanted to meet her for over a year, but there never seemed to be a good opportunity and that could have been it. There was just something that made me afraid to approach her. I think it was because I was so attracted to her.

  Most of the girls I met when I transferred to this high school acted really weird around me, or else they were really stuck up. I was having a successful year in squash, and I think some girls were kind of obsessed with that. I didn’t get it. So I was a good squash player. Big deal. I was using squash as my ticket to get into Georgetown. There was only one girl who got my attention. I didn’t pay attention to any other girls once I had my sights on Katie. No one could compare to her in my mind.

  During the first couple physics classes, it was so weird—every time I looked at her, she would look away. I couldn’t tell if she was another stuck-up girl after all. She was hard to read. I prayed that she was just shy. She didn’t seem like the kind of girl who’d stick up her nose at me. I doubt I would have been so drawn to her if that were the case. There is a lot of money in Connecticut, and it seemed like a lot of the kids judged you by how rich you were. My parents weren’t as wealthy as some of my classmates’, but I never cared. My family was awesome. Still, a part of me was afraid she wouldn’t be interested in finding out whether or not I was a decent guy. I really couldn’t tell what was up with her. All I was sure of was that I would have done absolutely anything
to get to know her.

  I do know that with every subsequent lab class, she got a little bolder, and that’s when I got to learn more about her. There were times where she would mock out my ideas or challenge what I thought, and then blush and get embarrassed for being assertive. It was so adorable. I got the feeling that she’d never had a boyfriend before, because she was so coy with me sometimes. On the other hand, it didn’t seem possible: she was so beautiful and so funny. It was obvious that she was very smart, even though she didn’t like science. She took all AP courses and had straight A’s. That was something she admitted to me one day. I told her that I also had straight A’s because I was hoping to get into Georgetown the following year. I told her that so she wouldn’t think I was a dumb jock. I wanted so badly to ask her if she was dating someone, but I was afraid she would say yes. I would have been heartbroken.

  If we ever got the chance to go out on a date, I had a secret to tell Katie. When I’d heard she was in my science class, I was ecstatic. It was actually my friend Scott who told me she was taking the same class I was. Apparently, he was hanging out with Katie’s friend Janey and they were talking about their schedules. For some reason, Janey mentioned that she and Katie were stuck taking physics at the end of the day with Mrs. Cotler and everyone knew that Mr. Johnson, who taught physics first period, was a lot better teacher. Since there were only two AP physics classes, I knew we’d have to be in the same class. The day I’d found out we had to do a lab twice a week, I’d had a brilliant idea. I’d approached our teacher and begged to be partnered with Katie in our AP physics lab. The teacher said that requests for partners weren’t usually allowed, and she wanted to know why it was so important for me to be partnered with Katie. I wanted to tell her that I thought Katie was the love of my life, but I told her that we had studied together in the past (which was a total misrepresentation of the truth, since we had never physically met prior to this class) and worked really well together. I told her that we both were applying to Ivy League colleges and needed to ace this class in order to secure our spots at our respective universities. She said that she had to confirm it with Katie before she made a decision. I was nervous about Katie knowing that I initiated our pairing, but, in the end, I didn’t really care. I wanted to be her partner. It took me about two classes to come up with what I was going to say to our teacher, but it actually worked. If I had been honest, I would have said that I had been dreaming about getting close to Katie for over a year, and AP physics lab seemed to be the perfect opportunity to get to know her. I’m not sure what Mrs. Cotler said to Katie, but our names were on the bulletin board when the lab schedule was posted. I was so thrilled.